The Adult Life

I should've made this the day I turned 20.

I had no intentions on making changes when I turned 20. It's nice to set goals but please, I still don't take me, being an adult seriously. Well, I see the problem now. I spent my birthday with my mom and people I barely know. My mother thought it would be a good idea to bring me along to La Union and while she packs her things and relieve herself from her assignment there, I go to some spa and enjoy myself. I thought it would be a good idea to go with her because I can have more "alone time" and I can finish reading  The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (which I've never finished, until now). I never got to do what I really wanted. It was okay, but I still wished I spent it with the whole family, and friends, if it was possible.

I passed the Nursing Licensure Exam and I'm extremely thankful that my prayer has been answered. Siguro hindi naman ako ipapasa ni God kung wala sa plano niyang maging Nurse ako. Let's just leave it at that.

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I thought it was a big thing. You know, turning 20. The BIG 2-0, I used to say. I thought it will make you feel great and amazing. I thought it was a life changing monumental event. I thought something would spark within me... It just feels the same. I don't know if it's the hormones. I surely know it's not that time of the month. But I bet that there's a psychologic reaction to my age-changing. I felt as if I already have a shitload of responsibilities, stop acting like a teenager- 'cause I'm no longer one, start being an adult. Maybe it's the 'cause of unemployment? A reaction to weight gain, boredom, sedentary lifestyle and my mother, now, constantly reminding me to look for work? Whatever it is, the fact that I'm a year older will scream in my face everytime I procrastinate.

I better start moving.

The Major Butterflies In Your Stomach Event of 2010

It's results week, and it is nerve-wracking. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think next week is the last week of August. Next next week is quite impossible to be the last week of August, since it's halfway between the last days of August and the start of September (start of the Christmas season, and yay my birthday!).

Waiting is worse than taking the exam itself. When you take the exam, you're nervous but then you tell yourself over and over again to be confident. So you succeed and don't panic because you've conditioned yourself to answer the questions based on your understanding, critical thinking and stored knowledge. In regards to waiting for the result; yes you could divert your attention, you could apply for a job. But the thought will still linger, did you or did you not pass? What will happen when the results come out? I'm really anxious and I could vomit any minute now, please release the results, I beg you! Have mercy!

I am not very good with coping with anxiety and stress when it comes to these things. I mean, this is life changing. This is not some test you take in college, feel okay if you fail because you've done extremely well in other tests. I will not feel okay if I fail. No, I won't go as far as killing myself because of the depression that will come along with it. Congratulations! You failed! Please take the depression as your consolation prize! Just imagine the shame, the ruined expectations, the oh-my-god-I'm-so-terrible thoughts, questions like: Am I stupid? Am I not destined to be a (insert hoped profession here)? Now, putting myself in a jolly disposition and with a positive attitude, I'm going to pass, *wink *wink. Despite the bad coping mechanisms, a positive attitude and a hopeful insight are the things that makes me go through the day with less worries.

But still, I am quite nervous about the results. Wish me good luck please.

Good luck future nurses of the Philippines.

Weekly Roundup

Gather round, gather round.

Since there are so many distractions¹ ever since I came back from the province, many tall tales weren't told. As much as I wanted to write about things that happened to me in the past few week/s, I was too preoccupied with doing what bums do. So here's a sort of weekly roundup, from the time I came back here to today, not much has happened, but dammit, I want to write about it.



1 Books I bought today (technically yesterday, since it's 2 in the morning). So this is how it feels like. When you have enough money to splurge on books and not feel a tiny bit guilt from doing so. It's a different feeling when you come home with books you had your eyes on for what seems like forever. And Thank God!  for NBS'/Bestseller's sale!

• Everything is Illuminated, Jonathan Safran Foer 
• Franny and Zooey, J.D. Salinger
• Journey to the Center of the Earth, Jules Verne 

2 A ceramic owl from Saizen² and The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy by Douglas Adams. The same Sunday I arrived back from Legazpi. A little Saizen tarpaulin caught my attention and it reminded me of Ms. Lauren's post about the store. My sister and I dragged our mom to the store. Who had the power to resist cheap, cute and useful things? After frolicking around the store for some time, my sister showed me that little gem. She knows how much I wanted to have an owl figurine. After many failed attempts of acquiring one, we found this owl without any effort. Before going home we stopped by National Bookstore to buy my sister's dissecting kit for her Biology class. I saw the book, grabbed it and didn't look back.



3 One of the things that has kept me occupied for days now (I don't watch Dora btw). This is the reason why I spent a large amount of my time looking for BRrips of movies I have on my "to-watch" list. I might sound ignorant but holy cow, this, by far, is the greatest thing we've had in our lives. Download a movie, transfer to portable harddrive, plug it in the tv, enjoy. I also had the privilege to assemble the stand for the TV.

I'm proud of that little thing even though all I did was to put the screws in and mount the TV on the stand. The latter was a bit tricky to do since I had to assemble it all by myself.

I'm glad the family taught us to do stuff like these.


Well, those were the interesting things that happened to me for the past week. Yes, these things already seem interesting for a bum like me. And yay! I was able to write about it!

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¹ Fast internet connection, the new tv, downloading qued stuff, arranging my bookshelves, unpacking, being a bum.
² Just in case. It's the original Daiso. They sell almost every kind of stuff there, at low price of 85 pesos. No, this isn't an ad. I just thought of telling you. ;)

Catch up

Soon she's down the stairs
Her morning elegance she wears
The sound of water makes her dream
Awoken by a cloud of steam