Saturday, August 21, 2010

The Major Butterflies In Your Stomach Event of 2010

It's results week, and it is nerve-wracking. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think next week is the last week of August. Next next week is quite impossible to be the last week of August, since it's halfway between the last days of August and the start of September (start of the Christmas season, and yay my birthday!).

Waiting is worse than taking the exam itself. When you take the exam, you're nervous but then you tell yourself over and over again to be confident. So you succeed and don't panic because you've conditioned yourself to answer the questions based on your understanding, critical thinking and stored knowledge. In regards to waiting for the result; yes you could divert your attention, you could apply for a job. But the thought will still linger, did you or did you not pass? What will happen when the results come out? I'm really anxious and I could vomit any minute now, please release the results, I beg you! Have mercy!

I am not very good with coping with anxiety and stress when it comes to these things. I mean, this is life changing. This is not some test you take in college, feel okay if you fail because you've done extremely well in other tests. I will not feel okay if I fail. No, I won't go as far as killing myself because of the depression that will come along with it. Congratulations! You failed! Please take the depression as your consolation prize! Just imagine the shame, the ruined expectations, the oh-my-god-I'm-so-terrible thoughts, questions like: Am I stupid? Am I not destined to be a (insert hoped profession here)? Now, putting myself in a jolly disposition and with a positive attitude, I'm going to pass, *wink *wink. Despite the bad coping mechanisms, a positive attitude and a hopeful insight are the things that makes me go through the day with less worries.

But still, I am quite nervous about the results. Wish me good luck please.

Good luck future nurses of the Philippines.


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